Sharing Children - the hardest part of divorce.

The comedy of children. It comes in vast waves, but you have to know how to find it.

Yesterday, as I was giving my little guy some milk - the milk that cost me $5.00 to buy because I was too lazy to run to the food shop after the deli- my son vomited right in my face. The milk I fed him was spoiled. It gets funnier because you have to know that when I went to the store to buy the milk, I ran out and locked the door. So now I get back to the house with 10 minutes to pick up - the door is locked shut. I go get a key - no easy task - get in the house, get the sippy cup and fill it with spoiled milk and just make the bell. So after the vomit, I think, "Oh well, never fear, I'll just run out in the morning and buy more milk after school drop off." Well, who would have thought - major snowstorm. My son is beyond bellowing by now - basically flat out on the floor in a hissy and we are not going anywhere for a very long time. My four year old has just informed me that I am fired.

I find this funny. I do. Because after I cursed at myself for locking the door, and after I washed my face off, I remembered thinking I was really happy. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I felt happy. Happy? Yes - because my boy is with me today. Tomorrow, he'll be with his dad, but today, I get this moment. I'll remember this moment for a long time.

My little girl is the constant in our lives. She keeps us glued. She is very wise and she has less of these crazy moments. But I get a lot of holding from her, a lot of conversation, and a lot of stability.

Tomorrow, she'll be with her dad, but today I get to hold her hand. I now cherish the moments I have. I look at these moments in halves now. And I think I love my children with so much more definition, more intensity -just more - than I ever did.

Sharing my children was the hardest thing I had to face when this divorce began. I sobbed for some time and walked the house in my bathrobe. But then I realized something amazing. I don't have time to feel bad. Now, when I have my kids, they are golden days. I don't have those moments anymore when I need time away. Yes it is hard, but the pity part goes away because time is ticking.

The moments may be cut in half, but those halves are what makes my heart whole.

Keep the faith. If you think positive, you get positive.